The Funny Bone

A young minister was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a derelict man who had died while traveling through the area with no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held way back in the country.  This man would be the first to be laid to rest at this plot of ground.  The minister was not familiar with the backwoods area and became lost.
Being the typical man he didn’t stop for directions.  When he finally arrived an hour late, he saw the crew and backhoe, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.  The workmen were eating lunch and he apologized for his tardiness.  They looked at one another but said nothing.

He stepped to the side of the open grave, to find the vault already in place.  He assured the workers he would not hold them long, but that he had been asked to say a few words, it being the proper thing to do.  As the workers gathered around, still eating their lunch, he poured out his heart and soul.  As he preached the workers began to say, “Amen, Praise the Lord and Glory,” so he really got wound up.  He preached like he’d never preach before and before he knew it an hour had gone by.  He closed in prayer and it was finished.

As he was walking to his car, he felt that he had done his sense of duty and felt a renewed sense of purpose and dedication.  As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, he overheard one of the workers saying to another, “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for 20 years, and I have never seen anything like this before.”

Thank You!

Thanks Odie--Odie Sanders of  West Fork and friends have faithfully attended most of our events for the last several years, especially the Homecoming and Bar-B-Q.  This year she brought a big box of jars which we will recycle when some generous someone picks berries and makes jam or jelly or donates the berries to a jam making gal for our welcome baskets which we present to the newcomers of the community.
  
One of the gals (not a jam maker but a pear preserve maker) is Reba Peters.  For two years she has donated pear preserves for our baskets.  It is gals like these who makes it possible to give such unique gifts.  Included most every time is a loaf of bread which Sharon Mirus has so generously donated each time.  Thanks to these gals and others who make welcome baskets making a pleasure to do.

Rocky Top 4-H Club News

In November members of the Rocky Top 4-H Club held an Appreciation Dinner for the Mountainburg Fire Department, area volunteer fire fighters and first responders.  They served a brisket dinner and had door prizes.  Afterwards the fire department gave the kids a tour of the firehouse and fire trucks and their equipment.
    In December several members went to the Alma Rehab Health Care and decorated the bedroom doors for Christmas.  We also went to the Dollar General in Alma and shopped for the Arkansas Children’s Hospital and afterwards went for a club pizza party. 

    At our December 4-H meeting we had our Club Christmas Party and swore in the new 4-H officers for the 2010 year.  The new officers are:  President, Lillian Beasley; Vice-President, Alexander Balandran; Secretary, Samantha Riggs; Treasury, Dalton Hall; Photographer, Rylli Hammond; Recreational Leaders, Dillon Hall and Garret Henry; Song Leader, Annie Beasley; Reporter, Shai Wilkinson. 

    In January we had several members turn in their Record Book Journals and the Cloverbuds are due on February 3rd along with the Club’s Community book, Promotional Book and Club Book.  The Community and Promotional Books are sent off to be judged.  Our Club won the 2009 canned Food Drive.  We have started off our new 4-H year and plan on having a lot of fun and learn a lot.

Thank You!

Jane and Duane Dear, Avo Brown and family thanks the community for the meat/cheese platter that was given to them during the loss of Jane’s brother, Arvard Brown.  “Turner community folks are the best.”

Rememberin'

Waking up, and going to sleep, these are decisions that each and every one does every day, except us old codgers. Sometimes it is time to go to bed and we are just getting up. But, hey, this is what retirees do.

I had a chance to visit some folks I ran around with in the 60’s... Jr & Linda Wilson, Kenneth Patterson, and Pohle Cowan. The tales told on what we use to do, which I cannot divulge due to some folks still living. I guess we were reliving “Precious Memories”, sure was fun.

One of our workhorses in the community has moved away and boy do I miss my buddy as well as the rest of the people will also. Miss Jeanette Gibbs was our go to lady, if you wanted something done, she would do it or assist in doing it. Thanks for all you have done for the Turner Community, Jeanette. You know we have people in the area who would rather sat on their laurels and criticize people who are out trying to make a difference in this community and all I can say is “Shame on you”.... Well enough of that and now moving on to something else.

Let’s talk about the paving or lack of paving in the community. We have been told for the last 3 years this would be the year paving would be done.  We are red faced from holding our breath and waiting for this to happen and still nothing. We will soon be in the 4th year and still no results. If the people in the community will go by and tell the county judge that you are not happy at all with his progress on the completion of this project, maybe we could get the ball off of dead center. It would be greatly appreciated by your neighbors out this way.

Rural Water is in the process of helping our neighbors on Revis Hill Road, Pope Cemetery Road, and Bear Claw Road. It shouldn’t be long and they will have rural water.

Now folks, remember to greet your neighbor with a cheerful word and maybe a cup for coffee.

Be talking to y’all later
Richard M.

Annual Planning Meeting

The planning meeting scheduled for January 3rd was rescheduled for January 10th due to bad roads.  Several members of the community met to schedule events for the coming year.  The weekly events are quilting on Wednesday at 9:00 to 3:00 and the Men’s Coffee Club meets every Monday Morning at 9:00.The monthly events are:  4-H meets the 2nd Sunday at 2:30, EHC meets the 2nd Monday night at 6:00,  Board meetings, pot luck, and family night is the second Friday every month starting at 6:00. 
    A fund-raising Chili Supper will be February 20th at 6:30.  The 4-H Easter Party will be April 3rd from 10:00 to 11:00.  On April 24th there will be a fund raising pot luck Spaghetti Supper at 6:30, cost $5.00 for all you can eat.  On May 29th, the Fire Department will have a Kid’s Day from 8:00 to 2:00.  The popular Turner Trade Days will be June 19th starting about daylight.  Details about booths and who to contact and other information will be in the next issue. 
    The ice cream fund raiser will be July 24th.    On September 25th  will be Homecoming starting at 12:00 and B-B-Q at 4:00.  On October 9th  there will be a fund raising pie auction at 6:30.  On the 23rd of October, a beans and cornbread supper get-to-gather will be enjoyed.  November 13th  will be the Christmas Pie Auction starting at 6:30.  The proceeds from this will be used for the Christmas goody sacks that will be distributed at the Christmas program on December 18th at 6:30.
    Make plans to attend some or all of these events.  The monies from the fund raisers are used to pay water, electric and other bills, for upkeep of the building, and any improvements to the building or grounds.

Annual Christmas Program

It’s over, another Christmas has come and gone. For many people the day after is a time of collapse, and sheer exhaustion. Some are in the throes of cleaning up the mess of crumpled wrapping paper and Christmas dinner scraps. Some may have a house full of relatives. The children are playing with their newly acquired toys, and some of you are already back to work.

    But consider this sobering thought: yesterday was one of only about 70 Christmases you may experience in your lifetime. And I just bet most of them are now behind you…so was it a Christmas to remember? Was it truly a time to be thankful for our Lord Jesus Christ? Sometimes we are so busy with the holiday celebration that we forget just what we are celebrating. Some of the holiday glitter has possibly already worn off, and in a few days the tree and decorations will be gone. It will be business as usual again very soon. But remember, that even though the celebration is over, the greatest news of all is still with us. Jesus Christ was born, He lives today, and He will remain with us for the next 364 days and forevermore!

    Thank you all for another very heartwarming Community Christmas. We checked in a total of 55 pies, cakes, and cookie batches to be auctioned. We also were blessed with a hand-crafted cedar quilt rack donated by Wesley Riggs, two theater tickets from the Alma Performing Arts Center combined with dinner for two from our local Cracker Barrel. The new “Pretty Girl” is now Madisen Juacinto, daughter of Savannah Sewell, granddaughter of Dana Wilkinson, and great-granddaughter of Don & Linda Wilkinson. And speaking of Don, he is now the first inductee into the TLC…no not the women’s EHC group called the Turner Ladies Club, but the newly formed Turner Liar’s Club! He now wears the hat proudly and all you other guys need to polish up on your storytelling at the Men’s Monday Morning Coffee so you will be the next Hall Of Fame-r.

We sacked up about 180 bags of Christmas goodies for the community and all were either given away at the program or delivered afterwards. There are no words I can write to express the appreciation for all who participated. It just wouldn’t be same without our group effort. My heartfelt thanks go out to each and every one of you. Congratulations to all who won the fabulous door prizes that our surrounding community was so generous to donate. The program went very well; the readings and music were perfect for the occasion. Our talented accompanist was Hanna Townsend, granddaughter of Fred and Reba Peters. Her dad, John, graced us with his beautiful voice as he led our carols. Our special guest, Santa Claus, was a welcome sight, and the refreshments were delicious as usual.

I am sure Jeanette Gibbs missed us as much as we missed her, and thanks for everyone signing her Christmas card. We already notice her absence because she was one so dedicated and faithful to participate, just a wonderful lady.

Wishing everyone a happy New Year, good health and good memories...Linda Wilkinson

Ole Timer's Coffee Group

The men’s Monday morning coffee group continues to gain members and the frivolity just increases.  The guy’s meet about 9:00 am each Monday morning at the Community Center, and the gathering gets the week started with humor and laughter.  If you can stand laughing ‘till tears start and hearing some of the best tales, stories and truths ever told in the Boston Mountains then please join us.

    The coffee group is also the home of the ROMEO dinner posse (Really Old Men Eating Out).  This extinguished bunch of gentlemen (?) go out the second Monday night of each month to dinner together, and the lucky eating establishment is always glad to see what they hope is the last of them.  Anyone, especially geezers, are welcome to join.

All in all the coffee group produces an amazing variety of information, useful and well…o.k. it’s mostly useless, but still a wide variety.  We have a really diverse group, long time locals and several “from away”.  For example, Richard Mirus, a long time local is a walking encyclopedia of local history, his cover is somewhat worn but he is still very informative.  Then there’s the brothers-in-law, Fred Peters and Don Wilkinson.  Don never met a chicken house he couldn’t raid and turn into cash, and Fred’s great-great-great grandfather just missed the boat with Washington crossing the Delaware.  So you never know what you may be missing by not having coffee with this bunch.

    Everyone enjoys the camaraderie and no one is a stranger.  So if you enjoy a fine cup of coffee and a real mountain man get together, or a mostly “round men get to gather”, then come on over to the Community Center on Monday mornings about 9:00 am and let the good times flow.                See ya’ll there, Cuppy

Trusses Puttin' On in The Ozarks

    People, we have a new neighbor James and Beth Raines moving in down from the community building.

    Well, it all started with a phone call and word of mouth that James would be trying to put trusses on the house he is building.  James and his father-in-law was going to try to manhandle the trusses by themselves, so seven of the guys from the community came over to assist and folks it was some kinda of fun watching all of this taking place.
Every job has to have a Superintendent and Max Donnohue fit that bill.  James wife, Beth had donuts and coffee and a place to sit.  Well, who do you think was drinking coffee and wolfing down them donuts, and I can say he also tried to be the boss but nobody listened to him.  This fellow was our pastor at Ozark Chapel, Bro Darrell Ezell. 

    Well, with a plan that would make builders quake, we started setting trusses.  After we got the first truss up and in place, we started playing a game, which everyone was in on the game except Jim Parker.  The object of the game was try to knock Jim off the ladder.  We were down to the last few trusses when we finally succeeded.  High fives all around and then back to work.  At lunch time Beth and her mother showed up with fried chicken and pizza.

    You know the stories been told on preachers and fried chicken, well all I can say, was watch your hand when reaching into the chicken bucket, you could draw back a nub.  A good meal and we went back and finished up.

    Those attending, and some helped were Max Donnohue, Roger Wise, Richard Mirus, Wesley Riggs, Jim Parker, Darrell Ezell, and Glenn Brandenburg.

    At least that’s the way I remembered that day, more or less.  Thanks Guys for the memories.

Thank You!

Thank you, Jeanette, for being a part of our community for years.  We cannot begin to count the ways you have contributed to Turner Community.  Your many contributions to and assistance with every newsletter will be greatly missed.  We could always count on you to have the upcoming events posted on the event boards.  During community events, you always contributed more than your fair share of food, supplies, and of your time.  When anything needed done, you would do it without anyone asking it of you.  This is only a small sample of the many hours you have given to us.       Again, thank you Jeanette Gibbs for being our friend and neighbor.  We miss you, our loss is Kentucky’s gain.

Welcome Baskets

Welcome Baskets were given to three new arrivals.  We welcome Paul and Judy Bettis of Rock Creek Road to our midst as well as the Johnsons on Old Turner Road, and Teresa, the bride of Eugene Riggs on Old Turner Rd.  We invite each of these families to join us for each of our community activities.

Annual BBQ

For a while it looked like we might be rained out.  But on September 5, the rain stopped, the sun came out, the smell of Bar B Q filled the air and chatter was heard from the grilling area.
    About noon, folks began to come and soon the room was filled.  Before 4 P.M. the meat was done and people were saying they were hungry.
    Our chefs did a fantastic job providing tender, good tasting and smelling chicken as well as tenderloin.  Our ladies provided several different salads, baked beans, condiments and we can’t forget a table full of various desserts.
    Door prizes were awarded to Hershel and Aline Jones, Calvin and Lois Campbell, and Larry and Vonna Steele.
    Our theme this year was “Come Home to Roost with a sign welcoming everyone.  Tables were decorated with a collection of bird houses which certainly were conversation pieces.
    We appreciate each one who came out, brought food, and participated in the gathering.  The proceeds of this venture will go towards the expenses of the Community Building. 
    We invite you to mark this event on your calendar this year and attend.  You will find friends and some new people to talk and fellowship with.
    Thank you once again to all who took a part in this venture and especially those who attended.

Ice Cream Social

The weather will be getting warm in June so on the 20th at 4:00 join your friends and neighbors for some delicious homemade and purchased ice cream. Proceeds will go toward the upkeep of the community building. You may win one of our door prizes.

We'll also be welcoming back our very own Buddy R Kelly Jr. who will be providing live entertainment. Thanks Buddy!

Ice Cream Social

The weather will be getting warm in June so on the 20th at 4:00 join your friends and neighbors for some delicious homemade and purchased ice cream. Proceeds will go toward the upkeep of the community building. You may win one of our door prizes.

We'll also be welcoming back our very own Buddy R Kelly Jr. who will be providing live entertainment. Thanks Buddy!

Monthly Game Night

If you have not joined us on the second Friday night of every month, you are missing good eats and good companionship.

While the board members have their meeting at 6:00, the ladies are getting everything set out and ready to eat. We have potluck at 6:30 and talk about being good, its much better than good. The cooks outdo themselves and if anyone goes away hungry, it is their own fault. Then after eating and visiting, almost everyone stays and does more visiting while playing games. Most everyone plays Mexican train (with their own variation of the rules of course).

Turner Trade Days Are Coming

Yep, we have a new activity on the venue for this year’s fund raising. We will be having a community yard sale/trade day Saturday July 18th. So mark your calendars and start your spring cleaning. Outside spaces for the sale will rent for $10.00 and you can get a lot of stuff into a 12 X 20 area. A limited number of inside 8 X 10 spaces will be available for $15.00. If you need a table, they will also be for rent at $3.00 each. Two folding chairs will be provided to each booth. What a great opportunity to get rid of some of the stuff that has been accumulating around your house and you can make some money to boot. We want to start early in the morning, around 7 AM and you can sell as long as you want. You will be allowed to bring your merchandise out the day before and set it up. Each person must clean up their area before leaving, and any unsold merchandise must be removed by the end of the day. The sale will be advertised in the local newspapers and flyers will be posted. We hope this will be a successful event that will lead to a Turner tradition.

The Extension Homemakers Club, better known as the Turner Ladies Club, will be selling hot dogs, chips, drinks, and miscellaneous snack items. All profits from the snack sale, booth rent, and table rent will be deposited in the Turner Community General Fund.

Everyone knows how much it costs these days to upkeep a facility. We need to raise money to gurantee funds for future expenses of insurance, utilities, maintenance, and lawn care. If you want to participate in the Turner Trade Day event, reserve your space by calling Don or Linda Wilkinson at 479-997-8541, Max or Shirley Donnohue at 479-997-1590. Get your reservations in now. And remember…one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

PS…It has been rumored that Herschel has challenged Don to an old fashioned Hoop Roll contest. Don would like to officially accept this challenge and will now commence some vigorous training. The Trade Day function should provide an ample crowd to witness this courageous and valiant contest that could possibly qualify for an entry into the Guiness World Book of Records. He is also going to fervently explore the internet for official rules and will then provide his own rendition of them. Herschel…beware!

TLC Club News UPDATE!

We had several members attend the workshop "Creative Gift Cards". It was conducted by Mrs. Dianna Parker. We had myself, Jane Deer, Misty Nelson & Jeanette Gibbs attend this workshop. It was a lot of fun and we got to make several pretty cards ourselves.

On April 6th, we had several members attend the workshop conducted by Cheryl Stewart on "Tatting". I attended, Jane Deer, Misty Nelson, Dianna Henson & Donna Shepherd. It was alot of fun- Don't know if I will ever get the hang of it!!!!! But I will keep on trying because Mrs. Stewart said she expected to see some Tatting crafts entered in our County Fair.

Luann Wise, Secretary/Reporter

Plant Swap

Another new event is scheduled for May 16th. It is a Plant Swap at the Community Building at 9:00 AM. Bring any extra plants or seedlings you wish to give away. You can take home as many as you want. Hope to have a lot to swap. Come and see what we have to offer.

TLC Club News

The TLC Club held their meeting on March 9th, 2009. The meeting was called to order by the
President, Dianna Parker. Misty Nelson our song leader led us in the lovely tune of
"Found A Peanut". Roll call was "Cleaning Tips." We had 13 members present.

Jane Deer was our Hostess for the meeting and she had decorated very lovely for St.
Patrick’s day. Minutes were read and approved.

New Business: The Volunteer Firemen & First Responders fund raiser pancake breakfast will be held March 28th.

EHC County Council will be June 9th and will have a silent auction. We were asked for the ones who can to make "Woman's cancer pillows" and to be taken to the meeting. Mrs. Parker said she would get us patterns.

Dianna Parker said she received a call asking if our club would be interested in taking over the "Phone In" and will be getting us a list.

Mrs. Jeanette Gibbs asked for the members to buy and bring her some different colored
Easter grass to our next meeting for use in the welcome baskets.

For the June meeting we can bring personal hygiene items to the club meeting to be taken to the Cass Job Corps program. It is now a Co-ed.

Mrs. Shirley Donahue gave us a short feature on "Heart Smart". Mrs. Jane Deer conducted the program for us on "Eating Well while cooking Lite".

Announcements: Jane Deer and Luann were judges for the 4-H Nutrition and Arbor Day Posters. It is going to be a very interesting and fun meeting!!!! If you can bring a guest and maybe they will join our club.

Luann Wise, Secretary/Reporter

ROCKY TOP 4-H CLUB NEWS

We have members Lillian, Madelyn, Annie Beasley & Weston Bull who went to Little Rock to compete with their poultry in a Spring Show. They had to have their chickens in place Friday evening and were being judged today and they should be home tonight. So the next newsletter I will have their results for you.

Our club once again for about 10 years now have been active in the American Cancer Society’s "Relay For Life". I got involved in it then when my dad had cancer. He was never able to go and participate in the Survivors Walk because he was too weak. I encourage everyone who has never been and participated to make it at least to it one time. The best time would be to be there at 9:00 p.m. At that time all the lights are turned off. The Luminary sacks are lined around both sides of the track and they spell HOPE up in the stands. But at that time everyone meets in the middle of the track and all the names are read that are in "Honor" or in "Memory". After the reading everyone participates in a silent walk in memory of all the people whose names are on the sacks. I have several of my family with sacks, I saw neighbors names people I didn't even know who has had cancer but have Luminary sacks in Honor of them. Please, if you get a chance go at least one time. I promise you will be touched and will cry a little.

If you have any one you want to buy a Luminary sack in "Honor" or in "Memory" please call me. They cost $5.00 a sack. Our club is also selling chances on baskets that will be given away that night. They cost $1.00 apiece or 6 for $5.00. A few of the baskets we have ready now are: A man's fishing basket, a women's gardening basket, we have a box of 8 yard lights. So call me and we can fix you up or call one of our 4-H kids. All the money we make on the baskets goes to the American Cancer Society.

On Sunday we are having our Club Achievement Banquet where we reward the kids for all their hard work. Luann Wise